Women’s Aid has issued a statement on ‘Love Island’, in which they say Adam Collard’s behaviour towards Rosie Williams shows “warning signs” people should look out for. No relationship is perfect, but a healthy relationship makes you feel respected, free to be yourself and secure. No matter how old you are, recognise signs of being in a toxic relationship.
1. You don’t feel worthy. If your partner doesn’t recognise your value, it can be difficult to see it yourself.
2. Crying A LOT. If you are upset most of the time or fighting back tears, it will take a toll on your energy levels and focus.
3. Lack of trust. If you are questioning your partner’s loyalty and know in your gut that they are not someone to be trusted, walk away. If your partner has done things in the past which have proved how much of an untrustworthy person they are, again, walk away.
4. Disrespect. Respecting your partner is an obvious if you are seeking a healthy relationship. A lot of us don’t realise when we are being disrespected though. If your partner is going back on their word, not talking you seriously or cancelling on multiple plans then you need to have a conversation.
5. Lack of support. Many of us will turn to our girlfriends when we have a problem, opening up with a partner is equally as important though. If you find that you can’t because you know how dismissive or unsupportive they will be, ask yourself if that’s a relationship you want.
6. Brings out the worst in you. When you are in love everyone from the Costa barista to your mum can tell. Why? Because it will be written all over your face. If you start disliking the person you are you’ll have no chance of becoming your best self.
7. Envy contributes to your relationship. One sign of a toxic relationship is jealousy. If you are envious of your partner or vice-versa then you’ll never be able to fully support one another.
8. Avoidance. This is a really easy one, if your partner ignores you or avoids you, then yes, you are in a toxic relationship.
9. Lowering your standards. I have always been a girl with high expectations, and I know my worth. This is what you should be telling yourself every morning. If you are lowering your standards to please or suit someone else, then please for the sake of women everywhere. MOVE ON.
10. Saying ‘sorry’ too often. If you’re apologising even though you have done nothing wrong or just because you want to resolve an issue then you will be facing severe consequences later. Never apologise for someone else’s behaviour, your partner has to learn to take responsibility.
11. Not being comfortable. Yes, we are told to get out of our comfort zones. However, if you suddenly find yourself saying ‘yes’ when really you want to decline then you need to run. If your partner pressures you into physical activity and you don’t want to go there, you need to run. If matters get worse and you feel constantly pressured, tell a close family member or adult.
Extricate yourself from a toxic relationship, the “bad boy/girl” will never be worth it. Listen to your heart and stay true to your values.
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Author: Scarlett Victoria Clark
Scarlett Victoria Clark is Founder and Editor of SMART GIRL TRIBE and a multi-lingual journalist. She has also written for Cosmopolitan, Harper’s Bazaar, Women’s Health. When not writing she enjoys travelling and shopping for (more) heels.