If you have ever been in a romantic relationship, you have probably felt some sort of uneasiness or doubt at some point. Whether it comes from worrying about unrequited feelings, compatibility or trust. Feeling anxious about your relationship is not uncommon at all. However, when these issues evolve to debilitating stress, it can end up damaging you and ending your relationship unnecessarily.
Relationship anxiety means one or both people spend more time anxious about the relationship than tending to it. If you suffer from anxiety, you already know that it can take its toll on any aspect of your life. Not voicing your troubles and fears though will push your partner away.
Here are some common ways to identify relationship anxiety:
You picture things going badly– A negative mindset will always create negative emotions that fill your head with assumptions, scenarios and doubts. These fears will make you reluctant to commit and take milestone steps with your partner.
You’re either controlling or too accommodating– Small things that are uncertain in a relationship are fuel for an over-thinker. In order to quiet down those thoughts, don’t keep tabs on your partner and base the majority of your decisions on your partner’s life.
You lose your temper– Overthinking and expecting the worst keeps you constantly on edge. These outbursts may seem like they’re coming out of nowhere but they come from your anxiety. Be vocal about your mental state with your partner.
Don’t act out no matter how anxious you are.
Anxiety can undoubtedly precipitate destructive behaviour. You could be finding yourself snooping through text messages, calling every few minutes or getting angry every time they look at another attractive person. Anxiety is nobody’s fault but it can be helped. The above are all acts that we can avoid no matter how anxious it makes us. Speak to your partner about your worries. Express to them that you are trying to be more trusting.
Comparing your relationship can flare up your anxiety. The compare-and-contrast game using social media platforms could have you believe that your relationship isn’t successful. Bad experiences with previous partners can also affect you, making you more doubtful and insecure. Find out how to deal with a toxic relationship here.
Don’t seek reassurance.
Looking to our partner to reassure us when we feel insecure only leads to more trouble. Insecurity comes from within us, so no matter what your partner tells you, you have to believe it. You need to wholeheartedly accept yourself and the love coming your way. For your partner to love you fully, you need to love yourself.
Share your values – Sometimes people in relationships are so focused on making another person like them that they forget about their own values and needs. Compromise is a part of any relationship, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be assertive when something is important to you. The earlier you can set the precedent for sharing your needs in a relationship, the less likely you are to feel resentful.
Overcoming anxiety is a very introspective process that involves understanding the root of your emotions. Be open with your partner about what are going through. The first step to mitigate fears and insecurities is communicating them. Don’t be afraid to rely on your partner, it builds mutual trust and a strong support system. Relationships are a game of two: no change can be achieved through the efforts of only one person.
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