You’ve been friends for years and she has always been prickly. Now though your friendship has reached a new low and her attacks are aimed directly at you.
Toxic friendships between females are usually emotional. When disagreements and misunderstandings arise, it can be tricky to figure out what to do next.
A healthy friendship is one in which both people support each other versus a toxic friendship, which is a one-way street. Relationship expert Ar’nie Krogh says: “The only thing they give out is the ability to make you doubt yourself and your choices, if you’re experiencing negativity, it’s time to do something about it.”
Assess the situation
If you are in a bit of a strange place with friends, or one friend in particular, and you are not sure what to do, take a moment to think about what is best for you. You may have a lot of memories together but it’s okay if you grow apart. Maybe this friendship just wasn’t meant to work long-term. To determine which path you want to go down is to make a pros and cons list laying out all of the reasons why you should or shouldn’t remain friends with this person. However, prioritise your own feelings first – trust your gut.
Talk it out
Ask yourself if you are overreacting to the situation. Talk to your friends outside of your circle and ask them for their opinion. If they agree with you then know that life is too short to stay silent. We have all held our tongues at some point to spare people’s feelings, but you need to talk to the friend causing you pain.
Ask for what you want
You can’t expect any friend to read your mind. Go into the talk with them with a positive attitude. Asking a friend directly for what you want can clear the air and bring the two of you closer. Last week, I opened up with a friend and told her how she seems to only spend time with her boyfriend nowadays. It turns out, she agreed with me completely and we have set up a weekly coffee date.
If necessary, cut ties
Once you decide this particular friendship is not really going anywhere and it is more of a burden on your shoulders, cut ties with the person. This can be difficult, especially if you have mutual friends, but remind yourself that you are doing this for you. Do not allow them to force you to stay in a relationship you no longer want to be in. Toxic friendships can just be as damaging as toxic partners. However, this is the friend equivalent of a break up. Be mindful, and don’t just ghost them.
Sustaining healthy friendships is important, and taking part in toxic friendships ultimately hinders your happiness. Address any toxic friendships you may encounter and stay classy.
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