“Good girls don’t hustle.”
“Nice Girls don’t get the corner office.”
“Good girls finish single.”
When asked how I do it, exactly how I build this company, usually people expect me to say I have an extraordinary father who helps me (I don’t), or a business qualification (nope), or an address book full of contacts to pounce on when needed (not yet).
Why is this the reaction? Because I am a standard nice girl, an average good girl if you like. What exactly does this mean? Well for some it could mean plain, a rule-follower or just a girl who is pretty boring. Good girls don’t hustle, good girls don’t rock the boat, apparently. Not to be bias, but I can vouch that I am none of the above and hustling is in my blood.
I have started reading Rachel Hollis’ new book Girl Stop Apologising. In the chapter Good girls don’t hustleHollis says: “Drive, hustle, the desire to work as hard as you can to chase down a goal. That’s my jam. Hustle is my love language.” I am in total agreement, hustling is what I love to do, the graft, the sense of purpose and achievement- I live for it.
Reese Witherspoon, Amanda Seyfriend, Naomi Harris and Jessica Alba, I’m going to assume you like them, because they’re relatable, friendly and don’t seem to constantly be tackling drama—typical good girls. So why do good girls get such a bad rap?
Growing up girls are told to be polite, say sorry, and speak when spoken to—not exactly lessons that translate into success at the office. However, being a nice girl has helped me beyond measure. I have built relationships with partners and since I am more emotional I haven’t built just a team but an entire community. On the back of being a nice girl, I have been able to nurture a thriving hub and develop something where all women are thriving. Here is my best advice for all of you good girls wanting more and having to deal with the label.
Slay in all lanes.
Thanks to social media, we can now build empires right from our laptops. This is one of the many reasons as to why you shouldn’t just stick to what you know. Writing is my ultimate passion and from it I have built a digital magazine and written a book but most people know me from the Smart Girl Tribe podcast or my speaking events. Life is too short to worry about doing too much or not doing enough, follow your heart and don’t just have one thing going on. Indulge in all of your passions, you never know where it all might lead to.
Take up space and don’t minimise yourself.
Are you the woman who dodges when a man comes toward you? I hear you, you along with the rest of us. It seems that being female means being aware of the space that we occupy, learning to accommodate those around us. Men are taught to be strong and and stand their ground. We however are taught to grow inward, forever the good girl you might not have noticed exactly how amendable we have become for the opposite sex. If you want to hustle, succeed and make it then start creating space for yourself and assert power. Don’t apologise for being an owner of the street or chair in the boardroom.
Work-life balance is sacred.
You have probably heard of this before but most likely in the context of women juggling family and career. Balancing your work with your social and personal life in general though is fundamental. Time away from your desk no matter how you spend it should be soul-nourishing. Re-fuel yourself regularly and don’t apologise for taking time out. Make sure you are spending enough time with your loved ones and caring for your mental health.
The idea that well-behaved women seldom make history is both right and wrong. I am a good girl, but I am not sitting in the corner or shutting up because it’s convenient. I am going after it all. As Rachel says: “I care more about changing the world that I do about its opinion of me.”
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