How do you want people to perceive you when you walk into a room? Perception becomes reality in some people’s minds. How you portray yourself especially as you enter a room can have a significant effect on how you are perceived. Remember you only get one chance to make a first impression! and once you have made that first impression it is one hell of an uphill climb to reverse if the result has been an undesirable one. When you first enter the room brimming with confidence, full of yourself, no matter how justified, peoples perception may not be quite what you planned. They may well feel intimidated by your presence and may feel reluctant to approach you even though when they eventually meet you the reality will most probably be very different.
When you are parachuted into a room full of strangers or people you barley know, how you ‘meet’ them properly is critically vital. At the beginning, if you don’t know anyone, try and mix with everyone in the room, make great effort to introduce yourself as later in the night this will work wonders, because people will feel more confident to come up to you and introduce their friends to you. Avoid at all cost the temptation to just sit in the corner all night as you will seem invisible, don’t become the iconic “ person in the kitchen “, if you feel like a fish out of water when meeting strangers, as I often do, you need to break the ice and meet as many people as possible in a timely fashion. As the saying goes ‘we all love a friendly familiar face” so the sooner you acquaint yourself with your new colleagues or guests the sooner they will come looking for you.
Smile: One of the most important things to make everyone be around you is to smile. When someone flashes a dazzling smile it is very hard to frown and be cold – you can’t help but smile back. A lovely smile is a welcome and an invitation to come talk and join you. Smiling makes you attractive looking! When you smile, you are treated differently, a smile activates a part of your brain and you actually feel rewarded.
Communication: is a sophisticated subject. What is the most effective way to communicate? Some argue that talking is the most important as most people want to be around a chatterbox, the inevitable eavesdroppers will come up to you, but sometimes this may be a little overbearing. Listening is also vital; when you listen you can pick things up about people, which can be useful later. Nevertheless, you cannot listen all the time, as people may not know what to talk to you about and you may seem a little too quiet. Make a real effort to ask about themselves, be sure to show an interest in them and they will afford you the same. Body language is also important in making everyone want to be a around you. You will be able to clearly see whether people are interested or disinterested in what you are talking about. You will be able to tell whether people are finding you amusing, interesting and attractive or not as the case may be, if not, change conversation before people start leaving, if they are finding you great fun relax you are on the right track.
Choosing a broad subject to talk about when in a group may entice more people to come over and join in. Talking about a narrow subject may intimidate people which in turn may make them reluctant to join your conversation or be around you as they may feel intimidated because they cannot contribute to the conversation. Talking about a broad subject and asking open questions such as favourite cities, countries or even the latest ‘in-thing’ to do open up the conversation to everyone. This may allow other people in the room who have been listening to come over and join in on the conversation.
Eye contact: as we all know is a powerful tool. It can work for you, but it can also work against you. Looking at people when you are talking will make them even more allured to the conversation. However, eye contact with other people in the room may signal an invitation for them to join you, but, you’ve got to make sure that you still maintain eye contact with the original people you are talking to.