In an ideal world, no woman would be pressured to choose between her career and a relationship. Actually, in an ideal world, no one would be pressured to choose between their career and a relationship. Surprisingly, despite the many advances of our generation, the thought that a choice must be made between the two still lingers around like the scent of an annoying perfume, the kind you’re better off without.
I recently caught up with a friend and discovered she’s been dealing with this very issue. Her boyfriend, whom she hasn’t been involved with for very long, was appalled when he found out she’d booked an interview at a public relations agency in New York City, instead of sticking it out in their hometown. Needless to say, their hometown is pretty much non-existent in the world of PR.
“This is what I’ve wanted for so long,” my friend confessed. She sighed and continued, “I’ve wanted to be in PR for as long as I can remember, but I also want a relationship. It’s just…ugh! He was so upset when I told him about it.”
After she expressed her concern, I chimed in, “Not to be pessimistic or overly realistic, but there are no guarantees, so I have to ask you this: If somewhere down the road the relationship were to fail, would you be okay with having dismissed this incredible career opportunity?”
Her response came quick, without hesitation, “No! This is what I want. PR is what I’ve always wanted. It’s what I know I’m good at. I just wish he’d be more supportive.” She let out another sigh and waited for my reply.
“Before you even start to stress it, go to the interview and see what happens.” I paused, in case she wanted to add something. She didn’t, so I continued, “If you get the job, which I believe you will, then decide. I do think, however, that your career should be your priority. Like I mentioned before, there are no guarantees. This position may not work out for you either, but at least you’ll know you gave it your all. At least you’ll know you tried.”
After that, we spoke for a few more minutes; she expressed concern regarding her future – what it’ll be like once she has a family. She told me she loves her career and wants to focus on it for now but doesn’t want to miss out on her future kids’ games because of work. Having to decide between her beau and PR stressed her out, and I could tell. She was worrying about things she shouldn’t be worrying about, not yet anyways.
Relationships and careers have a commonality – one that all other things in life share – no guarantees. If you can’t get the two to coincide, then it’s a matter of deciding. Listen to the voice within as you ask yourself, which would I regret more: walking out on a relationship that may not survive or living an unfulfilled life where my dreams are a part of the backdrop?