“You fall down once but get up twice” – an ancient proverb by someone who has never had anything bad happen in their life more than once, I’m pretty sure.
We have all had something negative happen to us, and then another thing, and another thing. Before you know it, you are in a bathtub with a glass of wine contemplating life. For some, it is easy to get out of the bath and sleep it off. For others, the nagging feeling of negativity sits around for a while. So how on earth do we get out of this funk?
Our twenties are made for the hustle or, so we are now being told by society. We graduate to jump-start our careers and then move up the ladder. Part of it is true-we all want to ace a client meeting or gain a new account to prove to our bosses we are not only the right fit for the current job but able to go into management someday. But are we working a job just for the money, or a job we really love?
As a millennial, I graduated early in hopes of moving to a bigger city and getting my dream job. I did graduate early, but did I end up getting my dream job in the big city? Nope. It took almost a year after I graduated to finally get the position I have now. I have worked up the ladder and now have a management role, which I am proud to have. But, it didn’t happen overnight, it took over two years and a lot of hard work.
However, in those two years, I had to deal with losing a parent. I had so many highs in my career and personal life meanwhile I had the biggest low of my life happen in a short amount of time. Your mind cannot adjust to all of those emotions at once. After my mother passed, I went back to work and “moved on” with my life the best I could. I thought going back to work, moving back with roommates, and start dating again would make me feel normal, boy was I wrong.
I had to tell myself that it’s okay to not be okay. About a year after, everything just hit me all at once. The overwhelming anxiety came over me and I knew I was about to burn out. I started diving into books to take my mind off the pain. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson and The Big Life by Ann Shoket were my favourite two. Manson talks about how you shouldn’t just care about anything and everything because then you will end up in turmoil. I was trying to spin multiple plates to take my mind off of it. I knew that nothing I was facing career wise would measure up so I had to let them roll right off my back.
Ann Shoket holds focus groups with women of all ages and backgrounds to not only get to know them but what they want in life and the setbacks they have had. As the former Editor-in-Chief of Seventeen Magazine in the U.S., she has seen many hardworking people go through the ups and downs of balancing life. She wants you to embrace the mess of your life and find those solutions that will make you happy.
Through these reads, I realised that you can read a million books about becoming the successful person you want to be, but will it all matter if you’re not happy? Yes, the designer shoes you maxed out your credit card for will get many likes on Instagram, but does it actually make you feel better knowing your more in debt? Will making six-figures at a job you absolutely dread going to make you feel like you’re on top of the world? No, remember- more money, more problems.
Take the time to prioritize your goals for your job, relationships, side hustles, etc. Stop pleasing everyone so they get what they want because you think they will do the same for you. In the end, you have one life, so make it count and do what you want. Pick yourself up, let the dust roll off your shoulders, hold your head high, move forward, and never look back.
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