How to handle anger in a total boss-like way

anger

Anger can make it hard to communicate effectively and be understood. I for one, as a total girlboss used to get frustrated and annoyed when things were not working out as they should have. It isn’t easy dealing with anger or frustration, especially as a young person- we tend to rely on substances such as alcohol to calm us down. Here is a variety of ways you can tackle anger in a healthy way. 

Do something fun or creative

Anger can be really destructive but it can also be incredibly empowering. Bear with me. Anger can either be repressed or expressed, so use it for your art. Accept how you are feeling and start turning it into creative energy. Write a poem or song, dance, paint, watch a comedy show– these are all mood shifters.

Identify why

Talk to someone you trust about the small annoyances that have been building up before you become explosive. It will usually be a person or situation that is rubbing you the wrong way, don’t let the anger strike. Instead, write down all of the situations you have found yourself in that make you angry, consciously try and find a theme or pattern.

Recognise the signs

Quick breaths can indicate that anger is rising. You might also have tension in your shoulders and a racing heart. Counting to 10 will slow down both your heart and your breath, it also gives you the chance to think more clearly. Before you say or do something you don’t mean, remove yourself from the situation by walking away.

Discover mindfulness

We tend to talk A LOT about this here on Smart Girl Tribe. But that is because mindfulness has changed our lives. You can download the Calm and Headspace apps for free, they are full of calming techniques and meditation practices. When mindfulness becomes part of you daily routine you will find yourself less angry, frustrated and even more resilient to issues.

Let go of angry thoughts

Clinical psychologist and anger management specialist Isabel Clarke says: ‘Thoughts such as “it’s not fair” can make anger worse.’ She recommends not using the following phrases:

always – ‘You always do that.’
never – ‘You never listen to me.’
should or shouldn’t – ‘You should do what I want’ or ‘You shouldn’t be on the roads.’
must or mustn’t – ‘I must be on time,’ or ‘I mustn’t be late.’

Instead, think before you speak. Ask yourself if you are harming or upsetting those around you with your words. If you are, take a step back, apologise and spend some time on your own to calm down and do something relaxing.

 

To Read Next:

5 easy ways to chill if you are super stressed

Why I didn’t report and why I won’t

How to help a struggling friend

Author: Scarlett Victoria Clark

Scarlett Victoria Clark is Founder and Editor of SMART GIRL TRIBE and a multi-lingual journalist. She has also written for Cosmopolitan, Harper’s Bazaar, Women’s Health. When not writing she enjoys travelling and shopping for (more) heels.

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