Jess Kitching was sexually assaulted when she was only 14-years-old but didn’t tell anyone until two years later. Now, she shares her story in an open letter.
I’m sorry that you went through this, and even though it has been two years I understand you’re still hurting.
It is hard to see straight right now, and you’re just trying to keep it together. However, there will come a time when you don’t think of this every day, soon you will hold your head up high and will no longer see yourself as victim but as a survivor.
You will tell someone. Right now you think keeping it to yourself is stopping other people feeling hurt but tell someone. Sharing your story won’t be pretty, and people you love will cry but good will come from it. The words: “I was attacked” won’t be words to fear anymore.
Those relationships you have shied away from because of this ordeal will heal. You will see how loved you are. Opening up won’t change how people see you. Instead, people will admire you. No prosecution will come from ut but you’ll even admire yourself for getting through this.
This will stay with you and you’ll even hurt some people because you’re aren’t ready for a relationship. After some time, you’ll meet your ‘person’, someone you’d least expect it to be but when you do meet them you’ll know. Remember, the real relationship you learn from is the one with yourself.
You’re not worthless. With a fake smile, for a few years you will worry you don’t look the part and people can see the hurt inside you, but you’ll learn that you don’t need to do that. Despite what he said, you’re more than enough. You’re funny, sometimes so funny that you make yourself laugh. Your heart wasn’t turned to stone by this like you think. In a few years, you’ll become a teacher, and an incredibly popular one at that. You’re brave – you make your dream come true and move to the other side of the world. You carve out your own writing career singlehandedly, pushing your limits because you believe in yourself. Did you hear that? You believe in yourself. These are the things about you that define you, not what he did.
I could sign this off by saying eat your greens, remember suncream when you get to Australia, don’t try vanilla vodka – but you’ll find your way through life just fine without the advice. I just want you to know that you aren’t alone. Trust me when I say it will be okay. You’ll be okay.
Sexual violence is a crime, no matter who commits it or where it happens. Don’t be afraid to get help. NSPCC Helpline: 0808 800 5000 (24 hours, every day) or Rape Crisis: 0808 802 9999 (12-2:30 and 7-9:30).