Being real with you tribers, seeing ambition in individuals makes me happy, it sets my soul on fire. There is nothing more I love than having deep 1 on 1 conversations about dreams, goals and plans. I’m a typical Aries as well which means I don’t respond well to complacency or laziness. At a dinner party a few weeks ago, I met someone there for the first time. She was openly sharing with the group that she just wants to stay at home every day. She continued to share that she doesn’t currently work and just watches television day-to-day. I immediately thought of this woman as lazy but then a little while later I stopped, I hadn’t taken into account the parts of her life she wasn’t sharing. Perhaps she was suffering from a mental health illness or was grieving a loved one. Maybe she was caring for someone sick or couldn’t work, whatever the reason I will never know but I did initially cast my judgement on her.
At talks, I’m always sharing how women need to be supporting other women. We have been pitted against each other for far too long. However, we will judge each other, it’s not an excuse, it’s just human nature. It does stand as one of the most hurtful impulses we own though.
Admitting that nobody is above it
While studying for my Master’s at university there was one woman who dressed fairly promiscuously. Other women would judge her for it, they would roll their eyes and make comments. We all judge in small ways, we frown or roll our eyes or even just have negative thoughts about someone else. Judging could mean gossiping about someone else though or writing nasty things on social media about someone. Judging is never acceptable and only causes pain. Admitting that you judge is the first step, the second is to nip it in the bud.
Allow everyone to speak their truth
Have you ever disagreed with someone else’s political or even religious beliefs? Judging makes us feel safer in our own choices, we decide that we are right. This is a totally backward way to think about it. Everyone has an opinion or a view and if you want to be stretched and if you want to grow then you have to embrace all views. I’m not saying you must take them on as your own but you have to accept everyone, as they are. A mantra I live by is: “Speak the truth.” My truth is I’m a twenty-something heterosexual who happens to be a businesswomen and entrepreneur. What’s your truth? Life is too short to live according to someone else’s rulebook. Life is also tricky enough, we don’t need to be constantly holding each other up against our own views or standards.
Encourage others to speak up
Media encourages us to compete with one another and to judge one another. I set up the Smart Girl Tribe Summits for exactly that reason, we needed a hub, a community where women cold come together and speak their truth. It’s the place where clothes, race, weight, religious beliefs, political stances or socioeconomic backgrounds are irrelevant. Your tribe is out there and if you haven’t found them yet, they might just be different to how you imagined. Come along to the next Smart Girl Tribe Summit and find out for yourself.